Is neurodiversity impacting your relationship?
Longer, 2 to 4 hour sessions to learn and understand neurodivergent relationships.
Neurodiversity in relationships
This is an intensive session for people who are in a relationship where one or both individuals have suspected or diagnosed autism or ADHD. If you are one of them, then relationships may be a tricky and challenging area.
Some of the most common reasons for this are difficulties with emotional regulation, impulsivity, empathic understanding, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Due to a lack of support and understanding, it is also common that people develop mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. These struggles will also affect your close relationships.
Relationship difficulties related to autism often involve differences in communication, sensory processing, and social interaction. These lead to misunderstandings, high anxiety, and feelings of isolation. You may have heard of the ‘Double empathy problem’. It suggests that while autistic people may struggle to read social cues, non-autistic people equally struggle to understand autistic perspectives and communication styles.
Your autistic partner may find it difficult to read non-verbal cues and they may not instinctively know the ‘rules’ of the relationship. Perhaps they appear indifferent and show little emotional reciprocity. This can easily be misread as a lack of empathy. Emotional reciprocity is an important part of intimate relationships because it fosters deep connection and trust. It is the mutual, balanced exchange of emotional support, responsiveness, and vulnerability between people.
Challenges in relationships with ADHD frequently stem from forgotten tasks, poor communication, emotional volatility, and unequal division of labour. This can create a parent-child dynamic, which in turn can lead to resentment and, if not addressed, burnout. The non-ADHD partner becomes the manager or nag, whilst the ADHD partner feels overwhelmed and micromanaged.
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) can provoke intense feelings of shame, anxiety, and anger. These tend to surface when communication is perceived to be critical or a form of rejection. The impulsivity that often comes with ADHD can result in reckless spending of money, acting without thinking, and an overall chaotic living environment. These all put a strain on the relationship.
In counselling, we work towards increased understanding of both people’s perspectives and also acceptance of each other’s differences. Emotional regulation can be a problem and hinder effective communication. We spend a bit of extra time learning how to stay calm and in control during a disagreement. We also discuss when it’s better to walk away and come back later, when your head has cooled down and you can think clearly. There are strategies and tools we can learn to manage ourselves and our relationships better.
This intensive may include both counselling and elements of psychoeducation to meet your individual needs.
The most comprehensive option with plenty of time to work on communication skills, emotional regulation, increased understanding, expression of empathy, skills and strategies. We may even have time to address some recurring arguments and ineffective communication patterns. This is a good option if you feel you already master staying calm in conflict fairly well. However, if disagreements tend to escalate quickly, this is not a good option. We take a lunch break after two hours and a small break after each counselling hour.
The most recommended intensive. Long enough to cover most of your areas of concern and still enough time to practise some of the new skills. We will establish a road map for the day during your assessment to ensure your expectations are met. This is a good option if you have a good degree of self-control, and most of the time, your disagreements don’t get out of hand. We take one small and one longer break.
The extended session. Double the length of a normal Couples’ counselling session. During this time, we will focus on your most urgent issues. This may not be enough to achieve significant change in your relationship. However, it can definitely help unlock more effective communication and improved understanding of each other’s perspectives. This is also a great option if you have a particular issue you need to address but feel unsure about how to approach it. This option is ideal if you think you are likely to find the longer sessions overwhelming and worry about getting upset or too angry. We will take a short break whenever it’s needed.
Please note that you can’t book assessment sessions or intensive sessions with the calendar on the website. Instead, contact me directly by email to enquire about availability or to ask any questions you may have.
About Jenny
What if my partner doesn't really want to come?
hat happens during the breaks?
Can we do this online?
Do we need to prepare anything?
What if we realise we shouldn't be together?
Is this like a couples retreat?
What if we're already seeing you weekly?
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Start with a conversation
Start now by selecting the couples intensive assessment. If you can't find a slot, please contact me via email or phone. I will reply within 48hrs. If I haven't, please check your spam folder