“Tom and I started seeing Jenny together when our relationship had hit the rocks and we’d tried everything that we could think of to get back on track. Whilst at the time couples counselling felt like a last resort, looking back we wish we’d started sooner.

Our sessions have focussed a lot on how we communicate with each other, understanding each other’s motivations and working through the various feelings that we were each having but that can be difficult to convey. We had always considered ourselves good communicators, but until we met Jenny we really hadn’t realised just how little we were hearing each other, and just how badly our often well-intentioned way of expressing our frustrations to each other was damaging our relationship.

The ability that Jenny had to reconnect us with each other was invaluable and regular sessions helped us both to be far happier and navigate the difficult situation we’d found ourselves in. Having children, it was vital for both of us to get into and remain in a good place with each other, and avoid frustrations boiling over into arguments. We couldn’t have achieved this on our own.

Then came the point at which most couples would walk away from joint therapy; we decided, with clearer heads and solid communication, to separate. This was a very difficult and distressing time, but we made the decision to keep seeing Jenny to help us through what we knew would be challenging - we might be in a better place with each other in that moment, but the challenges ahead would no doubt test that and quite possibly undo all the work we’d done to that point.

It was absolutely the right decision. Whilst we are no longer together, we continue to see Jenny to help mediate through the challenges and struggles of being co-parents, including the expected (and unexpected) life events and occasions ‘on our own,’ living arrangements and new relationships.

Staying with Jenny has also helped us through the process of our divorce. Most couples would challenge each other’s perceptions of what they’re each entitled to via the legal system. Tom and I, on the other hand, worked with Jenny to understand our motivations, attachments and sentimentalities, and agreed by ourselves how we wanted our affairs to look after marriage. This has saved us both a considerable amount of money, as well as the anguish and trauma of fighting based on pride and emotion rather than reason and kindness.

Just because our outcome was to separate shouldn’t put any couple off working with Jenny. Her incredible ability to mediate and bring about understanding, mixed with a kindness and even humour that is so important to make intense and difficult subjects easier to work through, could be of benefit to any relationship; straight, gay, even close friendships.

I would imagine we will keep seeing Jenny for some time as we navigate our new lives, so that both us and our children can continue to treasure the positives from our marriage whilst moving confidently into a future where we can grow and be happy for one another.
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“I worked with Jenny for nearly a year as a supervisee. She gave me the space to be comfortable with the work I brought in and I never felt judged which is what I had felt before with other supervisors. She reminded me that at times there are clients who you can’t work with for whatever reason and that it’s OK to feel like that without judgement or guilt. She was challenging and at the same time warm and empathic. Thanks Jenny.”